i still cant believe i lost 2-3 kgs. sigh.

today has been a very boring day. probably a dead day. classes were ok. same shit, different day. so yeah. nothing interesting today. sarah went back to kk. which made the apartment kinda slow moving. dont know why but it just feels that way. everyone feels it too. sigh.

every single day i still cant stop thinking about her. if she came over now, i dont know, but i would still accept her for who she is. maybe cause she was just taking care of herself. i do not know. something is just wrong with me. day by day, im slowly erasing her from my life. just block it all out. but how could i do it when i dream about her when im sleeping in class? it really kills me. i know shes moved on. i know she doesnt want me anymore. but why do i still hold on? why wont i just let go of the past? maybe because it was a damn good past in the beginning. one part of me wants to let go, yet the other half doesnt want to. it could be just the comfort i have when im with her. well, at least i know one side of the party is happy.

was in a pissy mood this morning. but it ended just after i left college. assignments are piling up. i dont think i can handle all this stress everyones giving me. classmates, friends, family, etc.

may 12th. how could i ever forget. singapore. how could i ever forget that. sigh.

rick.